At birth we intuitively know our bodies are sacred. It provides a built-in protection system. When a baby is startled uncomfortable noise or touch, this protective system kicks in. When a child squirms or throws both arms over his chest, the child using this mechanism. Observers of child development relating to this self-protective mechanism as a "startle response". Within a few minutes of birth of the startle response is obvious.
Adults need to respect children's sacred physical boundaries and inherent likes and dislikes, beginning at birth. Lack of respect for the child can disturb a child protection responses, rendering their intuitive perception of unwanted or uncomfortable touch be a cancellation or very weak.
Parents can avoid thwarting this protection system is reduced either touch or maneuver that the child does not like. When your child protests, you must stop immediately and find an alternative approach. Yes, the promotion and maintenance of the protective system takes effort. However, remember the goal is to strengthen your child has a right to protest uncomfortable or unwanted touch for any reason, but simply getting to do what needs to be done - such as. Bathing, dressing, undressing
the worst kind of sacred body boundary violation is the use of spanking as a form of discipline. Spanking, defined as slapping the buttocks, is a form of hitting and physical violence. This fact alone is sufficient reason that spanking children is unacceptable for the same standards that protect adults who are vulnerable. However, there is more than just spanking the shot. Spanking and offense in one of the bodies of most private and sexual areas - genitalia. Furthermore, violent socialization of children, children and young people through the 'spanking', 'bopping "," transfer "," licking "," torture "," paddling "," popping "," sturdy "," powerful ", etc.. Conditions children to accept and tolerate aggression and violence. This leaves children prey to sexual abuse and incest. How would the unsuitability of spanking children completely, we must consider not only the issue of physical violence, but the issue of sexual misconduct.
This is a known fact that sex offenders target children who appear to have been the victim before (quiet, withdrawn, compliant). Previous victim of body boundary violations tend to be quiet, easy to manipulate and more likely to comply with sex offender requirements.
damage from spanking reinforce appropriate behavior is thoroughly explained and demonstrated during the past century in a vast body of academic literature, scientific research, legal hearings, and more recently in the popular media. We know that spanking is still considered a privileged form of child discipline as 22 other states allow paddling with a wooden paddle in schools. Further evidence that spanking is a privileged form of child discipline is discovered in the random telephone survey done by Harvard Medical Center in 1997. 67% of parents stated that they beat their children (ren) approximately once a week for discipline.
In my conversations with people who use spanking to promote compliance with the instructions, the most common rationalization is that the two-year-old child can not be reasoned with - that spanking is the best alternative. When I then ask for an adult, if you can guess, because they can not be reasoned with regarding hitting or spanking children, they were chagrined analogy is obvious.
Another classic rationalization is the need to spank in emergency situations - when there is no time for objašnjenja.Primjer rationalization that is often given as follows: ". What if my child went into the street, oncoming traffic in this situation, should impress on the child you walk in the street is dangerous, "they reason," and udaranjedijete the most efficient alternative. "This reasoning is faulty because spanking creates shock, whereby the mind is unable to focus or retain logic rather than increase understanding. Furthermore, hitting maddening, but respect. So, instead of creating learning and compliance to avoid stepping into the street, the child has learned to distrust and fear of adults. Because the child is dependent on the aggressor (s) for their survival and to maintain the relationship, the child pushes the rage deep psihu.Prateće response to the body boundary violations is to act in other ways which may include the riots, violence, self-destructive behavior, etc.
Some people believe spanking is justified or even commanded in the Bible, especially Proverbs book. There is a difference, however, which is of key interest to fundamentalists, between the practice in King Solomon's day of beating people on the back and the modern American habit of buttocks udarca.Potonji not prescribed anywhere in the Bible. Furthermore, it should be noted that the Old Testament contains passages that could be (and in some incidents were) construed as divine investors from wife-beating, racial war, slavery, stoning to death rebellious children, and other behaviors that are outrageous by today's standards .
our laws and our cultural values unambiguously on adults who physically attack or verbally threaten other adults. Such behavior has been recognized as a criminal, and hold perpetrators accountable. Why then, when so much is at stake for society, we do not accept excuses of those who beat children? Why we became interested in the needs of children only after they have been victims of horrible, or have become delinquents victimizing others?
the answer is not complicated. I can not believe that hitting children is abuse until we can honestly admit abuse from his own childhood experiences and examine the shortcomings of their own parents. To the extent we feel compelled to defend our parents and guard their secrets, we will do the same for others. We will promote physical punishment as a "standard" form of discipline or look the other way. By continually insisting that we found good, 'we are reassuring ourselves and diverting attention from deeply hidden unpleasant memories.
This is why, when someone says' spanking is abuse, "many people react as if the door barricaded since infancy has broken open. This barricaded, unconscious door has prevented us committing the most dangerous most unpardonable act of disloyalty imaginable, disloyalty our parents. we are afraid to open the door to the truth we may fall through the abyss - abandoned and cut off from any possibility of reconciliation with her parents who volimo.Strah is irrational. denial - of what has been done for us and, now, what work and what will be done to make the next generation - is a real danger and real sin. hitting the sacred body boundary violation and violence toward another human being. In the case of hitting children for discipline, it is an act of violence by the person who the child trusts implicitly and to whom the child is vulnerable and dependent.
of reconciliation and healing can begin with the acknowledgment of the truth. It is vain to hope that the denial, the lies, evasions and excuses can somehow erase the memory of the pain from past injuries.
"Never was a time when major social problem was solved by beating a child. I will never be such a time ... For centuries adults have injured children and lied about it, and other adults have heard the lies and then just turned around. .. we need to start putting the blame where it belongs. ". - C. Everett Koop, MD, Sc.D
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